ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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