Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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