Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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