is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
