There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The best revenge is premature balding
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
