Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
