Someone shit on the floor
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
