Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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