everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
