big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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