I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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