i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
