Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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