When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
