The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
