I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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