I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize