All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
