Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Pooping to opera.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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