we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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