i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
It was confusing and full of hummus
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize