Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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