This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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