yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
