you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
