Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
