You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
