My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
