I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
