i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
