best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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