I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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