Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
