Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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