I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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