So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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