How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
