and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
