How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
