I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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