It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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