Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
