Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
