She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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