I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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