TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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