We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
