I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
