you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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