yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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