I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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