just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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