Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize