I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
