we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
