we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
