I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I need to calm my uterus...
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
