So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
