i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
