i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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