woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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