I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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