hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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